White Tree Tops

The Bradford Pear trees have exploded.  They line the drive to school and on errands.  It is the beginning of spring.

Honest Conversations

And safe, healthy relationships in which to have them.

An Approval

I can't believe it!  We were approved for our adoption-- well the beginning of the adoption.  This means really that we're approved for birth moms and families to view our profile. This is the "green light" we've been waiting for! 

I am thankful for the child that will come into our home because of this.  For the bond between us that God will knit.  For the birth family that will become a part of our family because of the love we both have for the child.

I am thankful that after two years of feeling like this is what God is calling us to do- here we are.  In a different place and about it by a different way than we expected it to come, but we're here.  Having learned from what the Lord has allowed us to experience- having wisdom about the whole processes that we would not have had two years ago.  And now we're here- at a new beginning in this wonderful journey.

Thank you Father.

Moments

Moments that I will store up and carry with me. Moments that I hope when I am old and I don't remember my name anymore, that I hope I will at least remember these precious times- not because something amazing happened. No lighting no aha! And yet a moment that is so beautiful you know it's holy. Today I am thankful for the moment of cooking lunch for my family. The window in the dining room open to let in the beginnings of Spring. LK at the piano playing his repertoire of memorized songs. The boys on the floor playing their own version of chess. Giggling and chatting as they go. A moment. Tucked away. A moment when I remembered to stop and breathe in the beauty of it all.

No Complaining

No bemoaning, not even an eye roll. Only his sweet smile (and the chuckle that says he know me well) when I come up (and moments later implement) a new room arrangement idea.

Seeing Myself A Whole New Way

Today I'm thankful for my participation in Lent.  I'm thankful for how uncomfortable it's making me feel- thankful for what He's teaching me through these feelings.

Time and The Unexpected

I'm thankful for reading at ISH's school today and seeing how proud he was for me to be there.

I'm thankful for playing soccer with the boys out back - none of us too sure on the rules but all enjoying the amazingly mild February weather.

And I'm thankful for the way LK looks out for us in so many ways but today, I'm particularly thankful for his financial sense. It's his good direction that makes the words "the whole systems needs to be replaced" much more bearable.

Learning I Can Do This

I'm thankful for the little kids (18 month olds) I helped teach this quarter. They were wonderfully gracious to this trepid newbie. 33 years old and I'm finally working through my uneasiness of children en masse.

Her

I am thankful for the relationship we didn't have growing up. I am thankful for the void that left me- the way it left me searching for someone to fill your role. Thankful for the amazing women I have been blessed to know through that search. And I am thankful for the times you text me. For the times I feel strangely hopeful that this might be able to work after all. And I am thankful for how hard it is to let you in to know me. And how I feel God working on me as I learn to be open to having you as an active part of my life.

The Gift of My Career

Thankful that I have my job.  Which for many in today's climate is hallelujah blessing in itself.  But today I am thankful for it because even on the day I want to chuck it all and go live on a farm because my "grass-is-greener" eyes think there is where I would be a better mother- there I would have all the time in the world for them; I have a job that allowed me to be home today with the boys while they were off school, and to be at home with them since Geo took his first breath.  I have a job that allowed me to sleep in, field emails and phone calls from clients while grocery shopping, clean the showers, book a honeymoon for some lovely new clients, make (failed as the recipe was) rubber bouncing balls with boys, contract group space for a mission trip to Honduras, play Clue, and enjoy the miracle of how beautifully the Lord has orchestrated this very job into my life.  I have a job that allows me to bless my family with extra income for the things we like to, but don't have to do (and I am thankful that I have a husband who on his own can and does fully support our family).  I am blessed.  And at the end of the day, even with my moments of needing to step into the office and do a little work, the thing the boys were most thankful for today was me, being here with them.

Questions Unanswered

Thankful that I have questions- wonderings, itchings to be deeper with God.  Thankful for the mystery that surrounds the questions.

Thankful for that ....

Every blog has to have a beginning I suppose.  A place when it's decided- documentation necessary.   And this one begins now.

But really it began years ago.  Back when Geo, our oldest was still small.  Back when we first began to hope he didn't grow up with the feelings of entitlement that we saw so many young kids have.  Back when we wanted to him to know how to be thankful.  Not just polite and please and thank you.  But for him to know how to be thankful. 

And so we ended each day with saying what we're thankful for.  I'm thankful for that... he would say, still says.

And most of the time, when we go around at night to say what we're thankful for that day it will be more surface things.  Thankful for that we got to read a second chapter of Harry Potter.  Thankful for Daddy helping with the laundry.  Thankful for the rain.

But I'm trying to remember to be thankful in all circumstances.

Like the day, years ago when our back fence fell down.  Rotted off the nails.  LK was a minister at that point, and we didn't have money to spare.  We lived fine and we ate and we had heat and air conditioning, but we didn't have money for a new fence.  I was frustrated that the fence fell in and frustrated that the neighbors hadn't fixed it before now.  Didn't they know the rule- if the pretty side faces you, it's yours to fix?

But that night, as we said what we were thankful for, little Geo said "I'm thankful for that the fence fell in."

Maybe he was just picking up on what LK and I had spent the evening discussing- how to fix the fence as cheaply as possible (and yes, we held it up with bungee chords until we put the house on the market some 18 months later).  Or maybe he was speaking truth.  Maybe, through my child, God was whispering "in all circumstances."

I'm trying to remember to be thankful now.  Not only thankful on the days the when I lay in bed at the end of the day feeling like I owned it.  But thankful on the days when things are left undone.  When mistakes are made.  When the phone call doesn't come.

And so this the beginning.  The beginning of remembering to be thankful.  Remember how I was thankful.

February 18, 2012
-that my mother in law had the boys and LK and I could roam Half Priced Books and talk about spirituality, classic fiction, and world history.